Ash to Dust (Falling Ash Book 2) Read online

  5

  I could lie here and watch this all day.

  It’s hard not to admire my half-naked man while he’s doing his morning training on the compact home gym equipment in the corner of our bedroom. With each repetition Silas makes through the routine, his defined muscles contract and release in continuous motion, making him seem like a sculpture come to life. When he really pushes himself, his breathing quickens to a rapid pace, but he never overexerts himself; he is always in perfect control.

  When Silas has finished his set of pull-downs using the overhead bar, he turns around on the bench and settles himself against the backrest. As he begins to do leg extensions, he sees me watching him from my position of swimming in the bedsheet in the ocean that is our king-sized bed.

  “Are you enjoying this?” he asks with amusement.

  I smile at first in my response. “Absolutely.”

  My answer and my gaze only make him push harder, his expression becoming hardened with intensity and determination. His eyes don’t leave mine the entire time that he’s pushing through these repetitions.

  He finally has to look away, though, because he’s abandoning the rest of this set and striding across the wood floor to meet me on the bed.

  In one quick movement, he grabs the corner of the sheet and throws it dramatically to the end of the bed, revealing my naked body underneath. I cry out in a laugh and try to crawl away from him, but he grasps my hips and pulls me back before I can get very far.

  “Silas,” I manage to say through my laughter and the wild strands of dark hair hanging down in my face, but he doesn’t react to me. He’s too busy positioning me on my hands and knees on the bed. I feel his warm touch move up my spine with just enough pressure to encourage my upper body downward until my arms are on the mattress and my ass is in the air.

  His hand leaves my back as the mattress compresses and another warm part of Silas presses up against me. When his cock has just barely entered my opening, his hand is at my hip again. He grips me on each side as he enters me, filling every bit of the space inside me.

  Silas’ thrusts are slow and carefully directed at first, giving him the opportunity to explore the bare skin of my back with his fingers in these calmer, more sensual moments before the beautiful chaos of lovemaking truly begins. His touch moves lower until his hands are on my breasts where my nipples are perked and ready for attention.

  I like the slow and steady. I want to prolong this perfection for as long as possible. But with each passing moment of his hands all over me and his cock buried inside me, I lose more control. My body responds by more actively participating in the pleasure he’s creating. My hips back in to Silas each time he thrusts into me so that he penetrates even deeper.

  Something changes, and suddenly Silas is moving quicker within me. His hands are at my hips again, pulling me to him so forcefully that I don’t even have the chance to push back against him anymore. He is in complete control as he fucks me with abandon, owning my body in this primal way, and I let him take me fully.

  I cry out into the mattress the moment my pleasure consumes me completely. I expect Silas to join me in this moment of ultimate release, but he continues to fuck me as if he simply can’t get deep enough inside me.

  He finally draws a sharp breath and stiffens briefly behind me. His thrusts continue with sustained vigor while he orgasms and fills me.

  I’m dripping with my own wetness and the remnants of Silas’ release as he slows his movements and removes himself from me. For just a moment, I remain still with my head buried against the mattress. Silas rests his hand on the skin at the lowest part of my back, then leans down to press his lips gently to my shoulder blade.

  He helps turn me over to my back, and I can’t help staring up at him and his glistening, naked body with admiration as he climbs off of the bed and grabs a towel to clean me up. We remain silent while he parts my legs and wipes away the pleasurable mess we just made.

  After discarding the towel, he stands next to the bed and looks at me with a troubled expression.

  “I want to crawl back in bed with you right now,” he finally says, “but I think I need a shower first.”

  I sit up on my elbows and puff out my bare chest playfully. “I could join you in the shower.”

  Silas laughs and shakes his head, no doubt remembering our last encounter in the shower when he had me braced forward against the stone tiled wall with his cock deep inside me from behind. I couldn’t prevent my subsequent screams of pleasure that resonated throughout the house all the way to the ears of our other housemates.

  “You stay here,” Silas instructs while he throws on a t-shirt and some shorts without bothering to wear boxers. “I’m not done pleasuring you yet.”

  Biting my lip, I watch with a mix of disappointment and anticipation as Silas steps out of the door and moves down the stairs.

  I feel a little silly lying naked and alone on this bed right now, so I pull the bedsheet over me and scurry up toward the black upholstered headboard to bury the side of my face into the pillow.

  My heart rate has slowed considerably since my most recent round of lovemaking with Silas, calming the desire that was surging within me before he left. In the absence of those heated feelings and drug-like hormones, it feels like I might be able to fall asleep again. Just as soon as I close my eyes, though, I hear footsteps climbing up the stairs.

  I grin victoriously at the thought that Silas couldn’t wait that long to be inside me again, given that it has only been a few minutes since he left. When I sit up in bed to greet him, though, I find Joseph standing in the open doorway instead.

  “Shit,” he curses under his breath, immediately looking to the floor as I scramble to gather up the sheet in front of me to block my exposed chest. “Sorry. I should have said it was me.”

  “It’s okay,” I manage to reply calmly despite my racing pulse. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me half-naked before.”

  He finally dares to look up at me again, but my attempt to alleviate his concern and lighten the situation seems to have had the opposite effect.

  “That’s what I need to talk to you about,” he says gravely, “without Silas around.”

  Though terrified at the potential answers to my question, I ask it of Joseph anyway. “What is it?”

  Joseph steps in and begins to pace the floor in the area of the doorway. He doesn’t say anything at first, and the longer he paces in silence, the more worried I become about what he has to say.

  “We need to tell Jake,” he suggests at the same moment that his pacing comes to a stop and he turns toward me. “Keeping this secret from him any longer is going to destroy me.”

  Anxiety and unease instantly overcome me. Joseph had insisted from the beginning that Jake could never know what we did, and I had accepted that. I even took some comfort in knowing that I’d never have to tell my brother that I went behind his back to procreate with his partner, despite the burden of carrying that secret with me forever.

  The thought of telling Jake now—divulging the details of the act I committed that was all for nothing, the decision that I regret most in my life—leaves me feeling unsettled and nauseated.

  Joseph must see the concern on my face, because he’s on his knees next to the bed now. “Please,” he begs. “I’ll tell him for us both. You don’t even have to be there.”

  “I can’t let you do that,” I whisper quietly to him. By the look of disappointment on his face, it seems that he has misunderstood me, so I clarify my statement. “I need to be the one to tell him. I’m the one who asked this of you in the first place. It’s my responsibility.”

  Relief floods Joseph’s face as his gaze dips to the floor. “Thank you.”

  I attempt to smile, but it’s hard to find the happiness within me to support the expression when I’ve just agreed to emotionally devastate my brother.

  “You should probably go,” I suggest, acutely aware that I’m still naked beneath this sheet and that Silas will be coming back up from his shower soon.

  Joseph nods and stands up, offering me an appreciative glance before he makes his way to the doorway. “You’ll tell him today?”

  The thought of delaying the impending conversation with my brother only causes me more unease. “I’d rather tell him as soon as possible.”

  “He went for a walk, but I expect he’ll be back soon.”

  “Another walk?” I ask with concern. “He’s been going on a lot of those lately.”

  Joseph shrugs. “It helps him think when he gets away from the house for a while.”

  It has been over a month since Jake told me the truth about the cause of my infertility, and even though I know he’s still upset with himself for keeping the truth from me for so long, I thought he was doing better. The past few weeks, he has been exuding nothing but positivity to me.

  “He’s secretly miserable, isn’t he?” I ask hesitantly, but Joseph shakes his head.

  “He’s actually really happy. He’s relieved to have told the truth.”

  The driving force behind this whole conversation suddenly becomes clear to me. “And you want to feel that way, too?”

  With a quick nod, Joseph replies, “I want to come clean, even if he kills me for it.”

  “He loves you,” I argue. “He’ll continue to love you no matter what.”

  Joseph tries and fails to give me a reassuring smile from the doorway before he disappears down the stairs.

  6

  I have spent the better part of the last hour working in the garden in the backyard, not only to keep an eye out for Jake to get back from his walk, but also to give Silas some space to calm down and collect himself.

  He wasn’t happy to come back up to our room after his shower to find out that I
had agreed to tell Jake our secret. Silas quickly began to lose his temper, letting the raging beast restrained inside him come free just the smallest bit, but I managed to help him rein it in and regain control of himself.

  When we both came downstairs and ran into Joseph, I thought that all hell might break loose between them. But Silas only silently fumed at him instead, anger and frustration clearly visible in the vicious stares he sent Joseph’s way. I gave Joseph an apologetic glance and did my best to get Silas out of the house immediately. I left him in the garage where he could focus his mind elsewhere and blow off some steam.

  I haven’t heard much from him since then, the lack of the sound of buzzing power tools telling me that he’s likely wood carving. It’s unclear to me if his continued efforts to perfect and beautify the wooden baby cradle are an attempt to give me hope that we might still have a baby someday or if he’s just being stubborn and won’t stop until the project is completely finished.

  I’m running out of creative ways to find work to do in the garden when I hear a faint, but familiar sound coming from the direction of the garage: the quick rush of metal against metal.

  It’s the sound of Silas’ .22 caliber rifle chambering a round.

  I stand up and bolt across the backyard to the stone walkway separating the garage from the house. When I reach the other end of it, I see Silas crouched at the far corner of the garage just inside the door with the barrel of the rifle sticking out toward the tall front gate.

  Silas leans out of the doorway when he hears me coming and silently motions for me to enter the garage behind him. I follow his instruction and slip inside the garage, but I crouch down and keep my head tilted just enough to peek out from the side of the doorway.

  I’m about to ask Silas what the hell is going on when the solar-powered, wooden driveway gate suddenly begins its slow roll to the side. My heart hammers in my chest in nervous anticipation, but floods with relief when I see Jake appear from behind the gate.

  Then the gate rolls farther to the side, and a man with slicked-back, light-brown hair appears with two men armed with rifles standing defensively behind him.

  Any second now, Silas and his rifle will begin their assault on these armed men standing next to my brother. At any moment he’ll enact his defense of our home and our family.

  He lowers his rifle instead and slowly stands up.

  Is he admitting defeat already? What the fuck is he doing?

  “Silas?” I whisper out of concern for our safety and the safety of my brother standing next to these armed men.

  “It’s okay,” he breathes out, though his unsteady tone isn’t particularly reassuring. “I know the man next to Jake.”

  I stare at him with confusion, not sure that I’m as okay as he is that these people have shown up at our gate with my brother, even if Silas is already acquainted with one of them. “Who are these people?”

  “Silas,” the man with the slicked-back hair says cheerfully as he spots us in the doorway to the garage. He steps forward and approaches us with his arms raised out to his sides invitingly.

  Silas maintains his hold on the rifle, but steps into the driveway to meet the man halfway. They come together and briefly embrace, the man clearly more enthusiastic about this meeting than Silas.

  “It’s been too long, old friend,” the man says with a wide grin as he pulls back from Silas.

  I haven’t moved from my position in the doorway, so I can’t see Silas’ expression with his back to me, but I can tell by his stance and body language that he’s apprehensive about this exchange.

  “It’s been a long time, Xavier,” Silas responds, and at his mention of this name, my eyes immediately dart to Jake. He seems indifferent to being in the presence of the man who held him against his will at the community in Ohio at Silas’ request.

  Quickened footsteps approach from the stone path between the house and the garage. They come to a stop as Joseph appears there with an AR-15 in hand, but he similarly has the tip of its barrel pointed harmlessly to the ground.

  “Joseph,” Xavier offers in greeting to him. “It’s good to see you.”

  I’m concerned to see that Joseph looks just as unsettled about the appearance of these visitors as Silas, even though they all seem somewhat friendly with each other.

  “Surprised to see you out this way,” Joseph responds without acknowledging the greeting offered to him.

  For the first time in this exchange, Xavier is the one who appears to be uncomfortable as he looks down to the ground and says, “A lot has changed. Things aren’t as they once were.” He looks back up and immediately locks his eyes on me where I’m still standing partially hidden in the doorway to the garage. “So, are one of you going to introduce me to the lady or what?”

  Silas slings his rifle over his shoulder as he turns and nods at me, letting me know with these simple actions that everything is okay and I should come to him. Despite my instinct to keep my distance, I reluctantly step out into the driveway toward them.

  When I get close enough to Silas, he reaches his hand out to connect it with mine, pulling me to him so that the sides of our bodies are touching each other, making our relationship status blatantly clear to our visitors.

  “This is Ash,” he says while indicating me with his free hand. “Ash, this is Xavier.”

  “It’s a pleasure,” Xavier replies as he offers his hand to me in greeting with a broad grin on his face.

  A brief smile is as much of an acknowledgement as I can manage when I take his offered hand and shake it. His skin feels softer than Silas’, but his grip is just as strong.

  I feel almost instantaneous relief when our hands disconnect for Xavier to motion behind him to Jake. “Your brother told me a lot about you during his stay at my community. It’s no wonder he was so eager to get back here. You appear lovely.”

  Silas’ grip on my left hand suddenly tightens. He steps forward to insert himself into this one-sided exchange and suggests, “Why don’t we move on to the business at hand. What are you doing here, Xavier?”

  The briefest flash of irritation crosses Xavier’s face before he smiles as if the preceding moment never happened. “We’ve been on the road for a while now, and our food supply is low. We just need a decent meal and a comfortable place to stay for the night, and then we’ll be on our way.”

  Silas appears unaffected by Xavier’s explanation. “You’ll forgive me if I have my reservations about allowing others stay on my property, even old friends.”

  “I understand your reluctance,” Xavier replies, “but don’t you think you owe it to me after I took Jake in for you before?”

  Now Silas appears irritated, his brow furrowing as he glances back to the two armed men still waiting just outside of the open gate.

  “No weapons,” Silas demands. “You and your men aren’t going a step farther onto my property with rifles or knives or even toothpicks in hand.”

  Xavier nods and looks back at his men, giving his silent instruction for them to comply with Silas’ request. They don’t hesitate to toss their rifles to the gravel in front of them. They then proceed to remove the handguns, switchblades, and pocket knives from their gear and add them to the pile.

  Joseph slings the AR-15 behind him as he strides over toward Xavier’s men. He ignores the pile of weapons on the ground and focuses instead on quickly patting down one of the men to check him for additional weapons. Silas proceeds to do the same pat down on Xavier, taking the time to check him more thoroughly.

  When Silas crouches down to perform the check all the way down to the ankles, Xavier finds my gaze and beams a smile at me, instantly making me uncomfortable. I feel the sudden need to be useful in this moment and get out of Xavier’s line of sight, so I walk past him and approach the pile of weapons on the ground.

  Jake steps over and joins me, exuding all sorts of uncertainty and concern about this situation as we crouch down to the gravel together to collect the weapons.